Funny Excuses to Get Out of School
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"You can't figure out the Universe, especially if you're using figures to figure it." - Alan Watts
28 Funny Excuses for Missing School
Apparently these were real written excuses given to teachers by parents of students.
- Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
- Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
- Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault.
- Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.
- John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
- Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.
- Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.
- Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.
- My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him.
- Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part.
- My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines.
- Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip.
- Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
- Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night.
- Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating.
- George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.
- Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.
- Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
- Please excuse Bob from school from Sep. 1 - Nov. 1, he had to attend a religious sacrificial giving ceremony on Indian grounds.
- I didn't come to school yesterday because I was feeling like I was going to be sick, but thankfully I wasn't!
- Please excuse my daughter for being late. Her broom won't start so I had to send it back to Salem for repairs!
- I'm sorry Tyler can't go to school today because his hormones are raging.
- Please excuse my son from school yesterday, he has gangrene and cock itch.
- A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ass, male student said, " What about extreme sexual exhaustion? ", and the whole classroom burst into laughter. After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, " Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."
- My son Michael won't be in school today, he caught his thing in his zipper this morning while dressing and is in lot of pain!
- Please excuse Casey from school. It was Take Your Daughter to work day. I don't have a job, so I made her stay home and do housework.
- Al was not in school yesterday because he was didn't feel like going.
- Please excuse Ryan's absents he has smoked too much weed over the last few days and is extremely tired.
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Source: https://www.school-survival.net/comic_relief/excuse-for-missing-school.php
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